Alas, this thing le, in fact, say difficult is not difficult, but really want to do it, sometimes it is not too easy. Say we do mother’s, see the daughter looking for a date, the heart of that anxious, want to help her gatekeeper, afraid that she was cheated by someone aggrieved. However, if you really want to have a good relationship with your daughter, don’t get involved too much, this is the first and foremost.
1. First learn to respect
First of all, do people have to be a little bit of respect, our old generation understand, respect this thing le, have to two-way. Daughter, she has her own ideas, she is not a child, emotional matters, you always mix to, she will also have a heart opinion. Think about it, people are young people in love, sweet feelings, you want to go up and point fingers, so bad so bad, who can listen to this?
If you really want your daughter to be happy, the best way is to maintain a respect, stand far away, see her happy, you are happy. You feel that the young man where not good le, their own heart into it, do not have to say it. Otherwise, when the time comes to make unpleasant, in turn, let the daughter of you have a grievance. 2.
2. Do not always insert a foot
Sometimes, you look at your daughter is not happy, want to go to ask what is going on, help her analyze. But remember, feelings of the matter, after all, is the matter of two people, others inserted into the more, but no good. What she wants to say will naturally talk to you, we do not take the initiative to ask, to urge, to interfere. You make it clear to your daughter, mother, is always on her side, what she wants to say, we will never force the question.
You see, young people, sometimes need to go to the wall, to learn to deal with these things. You have to wait for her to come to you, so that your relationship will be peaceful. If you see that she is not happy to go to ask questions, she rather feel that you are in charge of her, feel that you do not trust her judgment. We do elders, know the appropriate “shrinking hand” is also a kind of wisdom. 3.
3. Setting a “boundary” is very useful.
This boundary le, in fact, is a “line” between you and your daughter, in her relationship, we can set the rules, such as you will not ask you to interfere in her time to “help”, she will not ask you to judge everything. Your side also do not always go to her home, especially nothing to disturb the door, or to discuss it, call ahead of time, about a time or something. You respect her life, she will also be a little more sympathetic to you.
To say hello in advance: let’s say you want to go to her home to see, call and ask if it is appropriate, if she is not convenient, you will choose another day.
Do not just give advice: If she did not take the initiative to ask your opinion le, we do not talk too much, so that she smacked you annoying.
In this way, each other have rules, the girl will feel that you are respecting her, in turn more willing to talk to you. 4.
4. do not rush to “help”
Women’s family, always want to help the girl to do everything, for her to put a good gate, but in fact the feelings of this thing, or people young people to experience more meaningful. Even if she fell, suffered a little aggression, she will know more about how to choose people, how to see people, experienced these, on the contrary, is her wealth.
If you really want her to be happy, give her space. Waiting for her to ask you, you then go to analyze, give her a “mother” advice. If she does not ask, you pretend not to see anything. If your daughter is aggrieved and comes to you, you can comfort her, don’t rush to scold the man. I don’t want my daughter to be unhappy because of my own words. 5.
5. The girl’s love life is hers, not yours.
In the end, the daughter to fall in love with this matter, she has her own ideas, we no longer pain can not replace. If she is doing well, she can feel it herself. You stand by and watch, as long as she is safe and happy, then we will have peace of mind. The ups and downs of their relationships are for young people to experience on their own, so we elders should not get involved.
If you really can’t help it and want to say something to your daughter, then pick her when she’s in a good mood, chat a few words lightly, without criticism, without accusation, let her feel that you are supportive of her. So slowly, she will be more willing to share with you, her feelings.
Overall, this is a mom, learn to “shrink” is the long-term plan. If you really want your daughter to live a good life, learn to respect her decision, do not rush to intervene, appropriate time to say a word, and then should not say when not to say, we are heartbroken to heartbroken, but also in the way of her happiness it!
Tags：[parenting, mother-daughter relationship, boundaries, respecting privacy, relationship advice]