Okay, so, let’s talk about hickeys at work. Yeah, you heard that right. It’s a bit of a wild ride, so buckle up.
I woke up one Monday morning, feeling pretty good after a fun weekend. You know the type – good company, maybe a little too much to drink, and a whole lot of laughs. Got ready for work, picked out my usual shirt and tie, and headed out the door. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Got to the office, grabbed a coffee, and settled in for the usual Monday morning grind. Started with checking my emails, a whole bunch of unread stuff, mostly spam. Then, I got into some actual work, you know, the usual reports and spreadsheets.
Around mid-morning, I went to the restroom. Took a look in the mirror to make sure I didn’t have any coffee on my face, and bam! There it was, staring right back at me – a big, fat hickey on my neck. I must’ve been too out of it this morning to notice.
Panic mode activated! I tried to pull my collar up higher, but it was no use. That sucker was front and center. I started thinking, “What am I gonna do?” Everyone’s gonna see this, and it’s not exactly the kind of impression you want to make at work.
I dashed back to my desk, my mind racing. I rummaged through my bag, hoping for a miracle. No scarves, no turtlenecks, not even a band-aid big enough to cover this bad boy. I was screwed.
The rest of the day was a blur of awkward glances and hushed whispers. I tried to keep my head down, avoid eye contact, but it was impossible. Every time I walked past someone, I could feel their eyes on my neck.
Then, the inevitable happened. My boss called me into his office. He sat me down, and with a very serious look he said, “Looks like you had a fun weekend.” I just nodded, my face as red as a tomato. He gave me a little talk about professionalism and appearances in the workplace. He suggested makeup next time and ended the conversation. It wasn’t a warning or anything, just… awkward.

I learned my lesson that day. Hickeys and work don’t mix. It’s just not worth the hassle. So, if you’re going to get a little frisky on the weekend, make sure you check yourself in the mirror before heading to work, or maybe invest in some good concealer.
It is not my boss’s business, that is true. But keep in mind, hickeys are a sign of intimate and sexual encounters. It could be seen as unprofessional. At the end of the day, I was at work, sober, and ready to work.
- Lesson learned: Always check for hickeys before work.
- Maybe invest in some concealer, just in case.
- Keep the hickeys hidden, or at least try to.